It’s Christmas Time

During this time of year, busy single moms often feel overwhelmed. Let’s take a deep breath and remember that we have a village ready to support us. Even when my husband was alive, we needed help. Our parents were a significant source of support. My in-laws would take the kids to school when they were younger, and my parents contributed in various ways. For instance, my mom would buy school clothes, cook meals, and more.

So, moms, let’s take some time to reflect on who can best support us during this journey. It’s okay to ask for help. Even when we think others should know we need assistance, we have to reach out and let our loved ones know when we could use some support. Don’t let pride keep you stressed and overwhelmed while trying to do it all on your own. It truly takes a village. Now that it’s me, I still utilize my village. My mom takes my daughter to school, and my in-laws help with pick up after practice. Some ways your village can assist with the kids. Help with pick up and/or drop off, cooking, buying clothes, and date night.

Pick up Time

If your parents or the father’s parents are retired, they can help with pick-up or drop-off. We don’t want to take any time away from the grandparents, especially if they are retired, but these are their grandbabies, and they would love to help out. It’s important to do whatever works best for your family dynamics. For example, if one set of grandparents should pick the kids up in the morning and drop them off, make sure you have everything prepared.

When my mother-in-law picked up our kids, my husband would fix their breakfast, and I would prepare the lunch boxes. Their clothes would already be laid out because my husband ironed them on Sundays. You might find you need more support with pick-ups after school to allow time to run errands. My father-in-law would take the kids to their house, and I would pick them up after work. This arrangement allowed the grandparents to bond more with the kids. My in-laws cherished this time with the children; they said they wouldn’t change a thing. Although this wasn’t initially their plan, when we asked them for help, they immediately agreed.

Now that it’s just the kids and me, and they are older, I still rely on both my parents and in-laws, and they love it. My mom enjoys taking my daughter to school every morning, even though she doesn’t have to. My in-laws love picking up the kids after practice or taking them to their games, especially when events overlap. My brother and sister also help out when needed. I couldn’t imagine managing everything on my own. My brothers-in-law step in during my son’s football games and participate in father-son dinners and prayers. Their support significantly reduces my stress.

How Can We Help?

You may not realize what kind of help you truly need, but even something as simple as your parents cooking dinner can be a big advantage. Get a to-go container; we love leftovers! Although I do meal prep, if my parents or in-laws say they are cooking, I adjust my meal prep around those days. Since my in-laws are retired, they let me know when they will be cooking, and I plan my meals accordingly.

When my kids were younger, my husband and I had it made. My mom would cook on Sundays, so we had food for both Sunday and Monday. My in-laws would cook on Tuesdays (the night of Bible Study for my husband and me), which covered another two days. We usually only cooked dinner on Thursdays because we would eat out on Fridays and Saturdays. I miss those days!

Getting loved ones to help will look different for everyone, so I recommend sitting down to review your weekly schedule to identify where you would benefit the most from assistance. Any help, no matter how small, will be appreciated. If your parents can only help by buying clothes because they still work or can’t assist in other ways, that can still be a financial blessing.

Just Ask

Moms, don’t be afraid to ask for help. This not only benefits you but also your kids. When you are stress-free, your children do better. Kids can sense when we are stressed, and it affects them. Raising a family on your own is not easy. There are loved ones who want to support us, and whatever they can do to assist will be invaluable. We often hesitate to ask for help because we think we should manage everything ourselves, but our kids also have extended family who can be a part of this journey through life.

I am incredibly grateful for my village. My husband and I had support when he was alive, and now that he has passed away, I need help more than ever!